I posted last week on Over Coffee (“Conflict Matters”) about how Conflict can and should be used, as much as possible, to some more positive resolution. Our first reaction when someone comes against us or against our ideas is to lash back out and “make sure they understand my point”, for better or for worse. Most of us don’t like conflict, and when it comes our fight-or-flight instincts can lead to bad places. We can maintain some control, some professionalism, some personal grace in the face of this scenario. But most of the time we choose not to.

Why? I think it’s pride, or it’s selfishness, or it’s ignorance that determines whatever is different from my original “I’m always right” idea is in itself wrong and I have to stand up for my rights, for my idea, to make my voice heard. When others get offended at us, we get offended in return. You’re offended? Well, I’m offended that you’re offended. And the cycle spirals out of control.

Here’s my plan: get over myself, get over yourself, and get over whatever else is holding me back from the “better story” to be played out.

What do you think?


One thought on “Conflicted

  1. Bobby Scott says:

    I totally agree that you have to “check your ego at the door” if you ever want to get to the real answers that are going to make a difference in your life and the lives of others. People who can disengage from their egos, at least somewhat, can unleash a very powerful reservoir of possibilities and ultimately solutions to their lives biggest problems. Yes, I know that this may technically be completely impossible but to the extent that it is it really frees us to explore options that may have trapped us in the reality we find ourselves.

    Some of the best ideas that I have seen in my work situation have come from active, hard core, no holds barred, conflict. The crisis that is created sometimes forces us to rethink our reality IF we allow it. As the saying goes, necessity is the mother of invention.

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