the challenge of cynicism

I twittered this from the middle pew this morning at church:
“My challenge: listening for God, taking Him seriously in the midst of my own cynicism.”

I was about to start this little rant with, “If there’s a downside…” – but honestly, this IS the downside of being cynical when it comes to Sunday mornings, religious thought, life’s -ologies and -isms. Cynicism itself is a pretty negative idea, but I think it has positives in bringing a questioning to the surface that would otherwise be ignored or written off; in bringing doubt to bear on any issue, checking for faults and pitfalls; in bringing counterpoint to the point, hopefully for the better. But the dropoff is that when one is cynical, one is almost always cynical, and it’s hard to pin down something stable with all that doubting and questioning and counterpointing going on.

So, my “challenge” this morning is heartfelt. While questioning and doubting and looking for a better way, can I still get out of the way enough to actually hear from the Lord? Can I listen for God in the middle of my own pride, my own judgments, my own angst? Is there a way to make sure His Voice is still louder and more compelling than my own?


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