am i hearing? am i listening?

One of the things that will almost always give me pause, and I think it should give me pause, is considering all the theological mental spiritual things in my head and heart that have changed over the last ten years – have I lost my way? Am I still pursuing God? Am I hearing, and am I listening to what I hear?

"The goal of my spiritual life is such close identification with Jesus Christ that I will always hear God and know that God always hears me (see John 11:41 ). If I am united with Jesus Christ, I hear God all the time through the devotion of hearing. A flower, a tree, or a servant of God may convey God’s message to me. What hinders me from hearing is my attention to other things. It is not that I don’t want to hear God, but I am not devoted in the right areas of my life. I am devoted to things and even to service and my own convictions. God may say whatever He wants, but I just don’t hear Him. The attitude of a child of God should always be, "Speak, for Your servant hears." If I have not developed and nurtured this devotion of hearing, I can only hear God’s voice at certain times. At other times I become deaf to Him because my attention is to other things— things which I think I must do. This is not living the life of a child of God. Have you heard God’s voice today?"
My Utmost For His Highest, O. Chambers, 02/13

The fear sometimes is that stepping too far back will mean "losing God" or at least losing the fear of God, losing a proper view of sin and transgression. But in reading Chambers here, I think the over-focus on those things, to the detriment of just knowing God, has the reverse problem of continuing to make me miss Him. So in whatever I am doing, however I am following, however I am learning and growing – am I listening to Him at all, listening above the religious fray and beyond the anti-religious leanings?

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