No, Really – Pushing Through

We are up early after a good night’s sleep. Vicki has already left for church, having duties during both morning services. Cam went with her, going to her own Sunday School gathering before helping lead worship in the second service for the littler kids. Trace will ride in with me in just a few, ready for the second service time for middle schoolers. My whininess from last night has been replace this morning with my own brand of “pleasant disengagement”, and with a resolve to make the best of an awkward circumstance. I am here for a reason, a part of this congregation for whatever purpose is there. To grow in my own life, my own spiritual walk. And to hopefully encourage and to challenge others as they in turn encourage and challenge me. I’m not the guy coming to church with the “I’ve got all the answers this place really needs” mentality. That’s not me, I hope. Instead, once again I want to stretch our definition of who we are, to flesh out and complement what’s already going on.

I don’t know what that will mean, except that first I need to let go of that angst that’s been constipating anything I’ve touched the last few months. And I need to be more generous with my handle on “the benefit of a doubt”, something I hold dear and use far less extravagantly than I should. And I need to keep pressing through in what I feel is right. I can’t just participate in the show; I need to know deeply that what I’m doing has value, is worth doing, is worth doing well. And somehow, I want that to be contagious.


8 thoughts on “No, Really – Pushing Through

  1. Todd says:

    You have such a way with words, my friend. It is pretty well documented as far as my feelings about “the show” go. Yet I cannot shake the feeling that there is a purpose in all of it somewhere. I confess that I cannot even imagine what purpose there could be in The Show, but then what do I know?

  2. Rick says:

    I think I need to find some space beyond the show, something “other” to find what I’m looking for. Not sure I’ll know when I find it though, you know?

  3. Caryn says:

    You two sound like my Uncle Larry. I think he (not so secretly) hates going to church. He and my aunt form small groups of likeminded couples and do a lot of in-home stuff. Fortunately for me, I absolutely love my church — why don’t y’all pop over some Sunday for a visit? You can come by for dinner afterwards. Your old pal Steve Ritter might join us!

  4. Rick says:

    That’s us – the Neo-Crotchety.

  5. Chuck says:

    Rick – Something that Blackaby’s “A God Centered Church”, really hit me: In your heart of hearts, do you believe God has placed you in your current church? You don’t have to be the guy with the answers. You might be the Thomas who asks the hard questions instead of just taking everything in. Did that sound too churchy?

  6. Rick says:

    While I’m definitely the question-asker, my first thought was that I didn’t like the Thomas metaphor in my selfish personal case. But as it’s eaten away at my hard outer shell today, I’m wondering where that might go in a new post later this week. Thanks, guys.

  7. Chuck says:

    I have always had a slightly different take on Thomas. He has the title of “The Doubter,” but I think he is the question asker. One who is a deep thinker who has to explore a subject rather than just take what others put forth as truth. If anything, take it as a compliment (now that you know my angle).

  8. Rick says:

    No worries, Chuck – didn’t take it poorly. I’m just wondering how Thomas fits into what I feel of myself. Like I said, probably another long rambling post in there somewhere.

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