Several things have conspired against me over the past few days, conspired to move me out of whatever rut I had been enjoying and into something that might actually be a positive direction.
One of them was a post from Anne @ flowerdust.net on Penelope Trunk, author of Brazen Careerist. Anne made such an interesting connection that I looked up the book, too, and ended up purchasing and downloading the audio from iTunes. It’s a look at how the workplace and the whole economy of getting and keeping and enjoying jobs has changed with the influx of GenX and GenY. What struck me is that I’ve been on a tack that’s led me to consider the generational dynamics for awhile now, and have always considered myself to be "in there" at the top of the GenX pool – but most writers don’t have almost-40 in that demographic. Trunk does, and it means that she’s writing/speaking to me after X-years on my job the same as a mid-200yr-old looking for that first or next job, too. And I appreciate when (1) I’m included, and (2) that there’s something to be learned from every sector, some truth to be gleaned and processed and applied here in my own life, too. I will say that the section on "Uncertainty" has been worth the price of admission for me so far, and this morning as I listened to her rules for Resumés and Cover Letters, I was encouraged, felt good about myself and my chances for whatever changes might be ahead as an "old man".
So there’s that, but there’s also the aftermath of our trip to the Upstate for the student competition – me and our son and three days of technology. There was so much discombobulation in the organization and lack thereof, but I think we were able to look at it for the "learning experience" that it was. And it was a good time to spend with him, even if at times it was too much time. He’s a good kid, very intelligent and funny and sarcastic – don’t know where he gets it.
Then there’s the
fight argument discussion with my wife. Well, not really, but the gist of the conversation was that she was increasingly upset that I was closing myself off to her, not sharing what problems and issues I was having at church because I didn’t think she would understand. At the same time, I was not sharing what problems and issues I have been having at church – not because I thought she wouldn’t understand, but because I was sure it was more in the "just me" category and I didn’t want to taint her own experiences if they were good and positive for her. "Issues with church" is a big deal, and is a huge umbrella of things that takes too long to go into without feeling really nitpicky and whatnot. But having that off our chest, I feel, has been very cathartic and freeing for me – I see daylight now in some of these things, and feel encouraged to get back into the game to deal with what’s going on in me, in our claim that’s staked there.
There’s a positive spin to life today that I didn’t sense at all yesterday. It was fully Monday yesterday, but today feels like it’s a better start for the week and for whatever might be just ahead, you know? I can get so bent out of shape and down about things, internalizing too much and doing absolutely nothing about it to change. But then there are rays of sunlight – or just good morning coffee, perhaps – that wake me up a little and set me on my way. That’s what I’m feeling today, anyway, and hope that it’s not just the eye of the storm, because pessimism is always walking out this journey alongside as well.